To laugh...

ENGLISH JOKES
 
AT SCHOOL
Teacher: "Give me a sentence starting with the letter 'I'".
Pupil: "I is-"
Teacher: "No, you must always say 'I am'."
Pupil: "Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'."

PUNCTUATION

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

SMART BOY

Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination?
Son: Underwater.
Father: What do you mean, underwater?
Son: Below "C" level.

ESKIMO

1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from?

2nd Eskimo: Alaska*

1st Eskimo: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself!

*"Alaska" soa como "I'll ask her" :)

AMERICAN CULTURE

Two Americans are talking. One asks: "What's the difference between capitalism and communism?"
"That's easy" says the other one. "In capitalism man exploits man! In communism it is the other way around!"

DON'T GENERALIZE

In a school in the States, the teacher had just described Christopher Columbus' discovery of America.
"Just imagine, children, if he had not risked the ocean, you would not be here today. Wasn't he marvellous?"
All the children cheered, except one.
"Aren't you pleased young fellow?"
"No miss."
"Why?"
"I'm an Indian."

ANOTHER ONE ON AMERICANS

What breed of dog would you want on your American football team?

A golden receiver.

SCOTSMAN

McTavish, a Scotsman*, went to a ski resort. He told the instructor,
"I want to learn to ski on one leg."
"Certainly sir, but why?"
"I'll only need to hire one ski."

*Os escoceses têm fama de mesquinhos e sentem orgulho disso. Assim, há muitas piadas com escoceses nesse sentido.

A TOURIST IN THE UK

Tourist: Can you tell me the way to Bath please?
Policeman: Well, first you turn on the hot and cold taps then ...

POSTMAN
Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
Man: No, it can't be for me, my name is Smith

DARK HUMOR
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags. (lol)

 MORE JOKES:
http://www.riddlesandjokes.com/ http://thejokes.co.uk/